Two Under Two: What Life is Really like with two babies 17 Months Apart

02.23.2017

 

Life with Two under Two

The Big Announcement

17 months and 13 days.  That’s how far apart Vivian and Henry are, exactly.  I still remember finding out we were expecting baby #2. Henry was about to be ten months old and the Fourth of July was around the corner.  The Fourth of July seems to really stick in my head, we were out on a boat with family and I didn’t want people to be suspicious when I turned down homemade sangria.  Since we weren’t ready to share our secret until after our first appointment.

At the time, Henry seemed like our “big boy.”  We didn’t see him as little baby anymore, he was standing on his own and on the verge on walking, in our mind he was our little toddler. Most of all, we were excited about baby #2! So, getting past our rocky first couple appointments meant sharing shared our big news!

Pregnancy Announcement

Here’s where you can find Henry’s announcement shirt.

What we didn’t realize is that everyone else still saw Henry as a baby.  So now we were “those people” with a baby, having another baby. Most people thought we were crazy.  I can’t even tell you how many times I heard, “But, Henry won’t be two when the baby is born.”  “Was this a planned thing?”  First of all, if someone announces they are pregnant you have two choices:

1. Say “Congratulations” and be excited for them.

2. Keep your pie hole shut and say nothing at all.

End of story. Unless, you are the father of that baby or the one who is going to be caring for the baby those are your options.

Being Pregnant & Having a One Year Old

I think this is for most people having a second baby, but your pregnancy will fly by.  Seriously, it felt like one morning I woke up and was 37 weeks pregnant and our little peanut was going to arrive at any moment. But, with the realization that she would be here any day I started getting feelings of “Holy Shit, this is real. I’m going to have two babies soon.”

During this pregnancy I got a lot of stares, looking back now, I get it.  People are curious, they are trying to do the math in their head, “How pregnant is she? and how old is her baby she is carrying?”  I should have just worn a T-shirt that had it all, “Yes, this was planned.  I’m seven months pregnant.  My baby is 15 months old.”  It would have answered a lot of questions I’m sure.

 

 

 

 

She’s Here

It all became real when she arrived, life was about to get crazy.  Vivian graced us all with her fast arrival on February, 10th (a week before we expected her to arrive.)  We were so excited for Henry to meet his little sister.  I must admit, at some points my “mom guilt” took over. I felt bad that we were cutting Henry’s “only child” time short.  He was very interested in meeting her, but it only lasted a few minutes before he decided playing with trucks in the lobby and running around getting attention from the nurses was more entertaining.

Henry meeting Vivian

 

Heading Home

We went home as soon as the hospital would let us.  I missed Henry, it was the longest I had been away from him.  My heart was SO full and I was on cloud nine.  Our first week home was much “easier” then anticipated. My husband took a few days off and with people visiting Vivian reality hadn’t set in yet (I just didn’t know it yet.)

Vivian was born on a Thursday and I believe Derek went back to work on the following Tuesday or Wednesday.   Thats when the panic set in.  How was I going to survive the day by myself.  Slowly, I got the hang of hit and we had a schedule down.  But, getting out of the house was a whole different story.  It was hard.  Henry still needed to be carried in any parking lot and carrying a car seat at the same time was difficult.  Again, this brings stares and people trying to do the math.  A full year later and I’m still getting “those” mathematician stares.

Henry and Vivian Napping

I remember Vivian’s first doctors appointment, She was two weeks old and Derek had an important meeting he had to go to.  I was on my own and again, I was panicked.  It wasn’t a walk in the park, Henry didn’t listen in the lobby (he wanted to run around) and I had a crying, hungry newborn that wanted to nurse and I wanted to cry too. But, guess what? We survived and it opened my eyes to how I would get house with two babies.

Fight or Flight

A few times (okay, maybe more) I felt pity for myself.   I didn’t want to be stuck at home, I felt like I needed more help,  I wanted a few minutes to myself, and even more sleep.  PAUSE.  I want to be clear, when my husband was home he was helpful and when my mom and sister were free they were willing to give me a hand too.  BUT, Monday through Friday 6am-5:30pm felt long when I was alone with the babies.

In the end, it didn’t take more then a couple weeks of feeling like it was impossible to get out of the house before I figured it all out.  I figured out how to juggle it all on my own.  If you’re reading this and you are pregnant with your second baby, know you will figure it out too, its like some magic power “us moms” have! Check out my 5 tips for surviving the first year with two under two, here!  The exhaustion may never go away, but it will be filled in with lots of hugs, snuggles, kisses, and millions of happy moments.  Below are moments where I started to get it “down” I started to feel like I could really handle this two-under-two thing.

 

Looking Back

Since both kiddos were sick a few weeks ago and we went in to see their pediatrician.  She reminded me that this is the busiest I will ever be.  Even though it may never seem feasible… in a few years I will look back and wonder how I did it.  When thinking about it, as a mom with two kids 17 months apart, you just do everything that needs to be done and you don’t think about it until someone brings it up.  Getting in and out of the car and car seats, diaper changes, lots of crying, feedings, lack of sleep, messy house, learning to multitask.  I don’t think anything of nursing Vivian while making Henry lunch and trying to find cartoons he wants to watch until I think about how silly I look trying to do it all at once.  You just do it.

A year later and I’m still surviving, I have even had a few brief moments of baby fever.  Don’t panic, it will be a couple more years until another Budde baby joins our gang.  But, I want you to know I would do it all over in an instant, happily.

 

Other Posts You May Like:

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15 Comments
    1. Woow am so encouraged. My twin girls just turned an year. I must say its a tough ride having kids of almost the same age. My paed also mentioned i am going to look back and appreciate how far weve come. Its no joke and you sure have done alot of work. Well done!!

      1. Good for you, mama! I think getting through the first year with twins or babies close in age in the hardest and we did it!

        XO,

        Molly

    1. Thanks for this! We found out a week ago I’m pregnant! It was planned, but now that it’s real, I’m freaking out. Our daughter is 10 months old and the gap will be 17 months as well.

      Nursing WHILE making lunch?!
      Carrying a young toddler AND infant in a parking lot?!

      The messiness of it all is unfathomable.

      The love I have for my daughter far outweighs the hard days x a million and I trust the same will be true once the new babe comes. This window of beautiful messiness will pass. Easy to say now! Haha. Anyway, thanks again!

      xo

      Marissa

      1. Congrats x’s a million! I promise the good will continue to outweigh the bad! You will be amazed by how much you can multitask and get done even with two littles. Stay in touch, I can’t wait to hear about your journey!

        xo,

        Molly

    1. My kiddos are almost exactly 2 years apart and the first year and a half with both of them was the absolute hardest time in my life. But now they’re 4.5 and 2.5 and it’s amazing. They play together so, so well and they’re really best friends. I regretted having mine so close together for so long but now I love it!

    1. My 2 are 16 months 4 days apart and that’s the way I wanted it too! My little girl is almost 2 and is a very headstrong determined little madam who never stops running around. My little boy is almost 8 months and he is very easy to look after. It all balances itself out. Some days are mad and others are pleasurable! I’d definitely do it over again but I am still looking forward to when they get a year or two older and things become easier.

      1. I feel the same way, we are both lucky mamas! I’m so happy my two are close in age and they balance each other out too! I might be lacking in the sleep department, but my heart is exploding with love!

    1. Mama, I am so glad I found this. My son is 8 months old, and I’m 14 weeks pregnant with our surprise new addition. My littles will be 14 months apart and I’ve spent most of the first trimester feeling pretty overwhelmed. Looking at your pics makes me so happy (I don’t know yet of course but I have a strong girl vibe with this one) thinking about big brother little sister moments- and also, being reminded that yes it will be nuts for a while and THAT’S OK. Thank you.

      1. Congrats on baby #2! I am SO happy you read this! I felt the same way during the earlier months of my pregnancy, the unknown was scary. I promise you mama, you will adjust when baby arrives and you will wonder why you ever worried! If you are ever in need of some support, I’m always here!

        XO,

        Molly

    1. Such a great post! My littles are 15 months apart (Get it done and over with, ya know what I’m sayin’!) and I know exactly how you feel. It’s good to know mom’s like us are not alone. Thank you for sharing this post about your experience and your darling babies!

    1. I am laying here at almost 1am in my bed sobbing like the 16 week pregnant crazy woman I am, while my 20 month old ( to the day) sleeping the night away. Every night I do this to myself, let all my fears take hold and I spend hours online looking up tips, blogs, groups, searching for advice. I am in tears over finding your post. The encouragement is incredible and I can’t thank you enough for this post. Lately, I find so many things about how to prepare a toddler for baby #2 but so much of it is (understandably so) geared toward toddlers that can actually (for the most part) comprehend talks and pictures, explainations and the like. Mine won’t be AS close in age as many of your commenters or yourself, however, although my daughter is intuitive, she will be 2 years, 1 month when #2 arrives. She is headstrong, bull headed, powerful, emotional, and a master at pushing boundaries ( as many kids her age are) she’s my “white water” but the best thing about the challenges white water gives is once confidence in my skills increase, rafting this river can be more fun. I look forward to those days, but I struggle every day and barely have a grasp of life now. Our little surprise #2 has me panicking. Can anyone extend honest and raw advice on trying to help a toddler 2 years or under prepare for sibling-hood? Or do we find it best to just go with the flow of where our rivers take us, learn what we can along the way, enjoy the calm drifting moments, try not to fear the unknown, and face the white waters head on? I can’t help but want to learn tips and tricks to be sure I’m well equipped for the journey ahead. ❤️ Thank you again!

    1. This was so helpful. My little guy is almost one and I’m 32 weeks pregnant with #2 (13 months apart) and I’ve been freaking out since we found out. Reading this gave me some hope.

      From one mom blogger to another, I thank you!!

    1. Thank you! I needed this. I’m on the same timeline as you. Best of luck!

    1. We found out a little while ago that we have number 2 on the way and they will be just 15 months apart! It’s been pretty overwhelming. But your pictures and words are so inspiring and encouraging! Thank you!!

    1. We have a 7 year old and our other son (baby) will be 16 months old when our daughter arrives in November. She wasn’t planned but we didn’t try to prevent her either, I know I can do it, and it will be hard At first but nothing is impossible. I loved reading your story and how much I can relate to all the judgy stares I get when we go out in public. People always say “so don’t you think 3 kids is enough now?” Or “when are you getting your tubes tied?” Like when did other people decide when you and your family has had enough children. As long as they are well taken care of and loved is all that matters. My grandmothers on both sides had 6 children a piece, and no one bats an eye. I am on my 3rd and apparently it isn’t acceptable these days. I applaud every women who is doing what it takes to take care of their family and even more to the women who have and are and are going to be taking care of two babies at the same time!

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