I admit it- I am a shitty friend. Sometimes I don’t text back for hours or I forget altogether. You ask about dinner or coffee, but the truth is my kids can be real assholes. Being in public and expecting them to sit still and behave is asking for a miracle. My toddler is fast approaching his terrible twos and I can’t even get in and out of Target (not even looking at handbags and home decor, I’m talking essentials, the milk/toilet paper kind of trip…) without a meltdown (or five.) Thinking about going to dinner gives me anxiety. We just avoid it like the plague. The last time we were out to eat my husband chased our toddler around who insisted on “flying” around like Buzz Lightyear. I stood, bounced, and breastfed our daughter who cried every time I went to sit down. Oh, did I mention we ended up taking our food home in to-go boxes and eating dinner after the kids went to bed. Yes, we are the family everyone hates at the restaurant. And hey! Coffee sounds fantastic, I practically swim in that shit. But, coffee in a quiet, cute, calm place sounds like a disaster. Pretty much the same story as the restaurant, but add the toddler trying to run behind the counter too, its a ton of fun. Typically, trendy baristas aren’t known for being understanding of little ones.
Yes, I have a husband who could watch the kids, but our five month old still won’t take a bottle so, I’m lucky if I have two hours away. Just when I think I could sneak away, my husband gets a call from work for an emergency deployment or the toddler has an ear infection and isn’t feeling well.
Now, you might be thinking I’m antisocial. I promise I’m not, I used to be a social butterfly! I was the first one to get dolled up and be ready to rally for night two. I used to laugh at people when they said they were hungover, even if I drank 4 beers, 3 shots, and 2 mixed drinks the night before. Today, I drink a glass of wine and I’m ready for bed. This doesn’t mean I’m not happy, because I’m happier then I’ve ever been, I just don’t find joy in the same things I used to.
Saint Patty’s Day Pre- Kids
I don’t want you to take this as an ‘I don’t care about you’ scenario, because I do. I miss you and I miss our good times together. You are a great friend and it means a lot to me that you care enough to reach out. There are just things in my life that have changed and have to come first. But, I want you to know I think of you often, I wish you the best, and I hope your still staying up late enjoying one too many tequila shots.